Part One: The Emotional Reality No One Prepares You For

In 2024, I realized one of my biggest dreams.

I moved abroad — alone, full of excitement, anticipation, and big dreams.

A new job. a new apartment. a completely new environment.

I had basically changed my entire life, or it seemed like it.

For a while, I was carried by novelty. New experiences came so quickly that I barely had time to process them. I didn’t fully believe I was actually living the life I had imagined for so long.

But once things settled, the adrenaline faded and routine slowly took over. I felt what I now recognize as the emotional drop after excitement.

I accepted my reality, as beautiful as it was. But I also started facing the challenges that come with any real life. Because no matter how right a decision feels, there is always a price to pay.

What I expected to feel and what I actually felt were sometimes aligned, and sometimes painfully far apart.

So in this first part, I want to talk about the emotional side of moving abroad that no one can really prepare you for.The quiet contrast between anticipation and reality. And the emotions that surprised me the most once the dream became real.

1. Loneliness Shows Up, Eventually

This was the feeling everyone warned me about: loneliness.

And while I expected to miss my family, my friends, and the life I left behind, I didn’t think loneliness would hit me the way it did. I wasn’t alone. I had friends to reconnect with. And I knew I would definitely make new ones.

For me, moving abroad wasn’t meant to be temporary. It was a decision to build a better life.

But over time, I realized the difference between being alone, and being lonely. And that feeling hit me when I least expected it.

Even with people I could rely on, I knew they were still far away. In this new country, I had to fully count on myself both emotionally and practically.

What I missed most wasn’t people. It was the sense of safety I had back home. Emotional familiarity. Physical ease. The comfort of knowing how things work without thinking twice.

Loneliness also grows when you watch your family and friends continue a life you were once part of. Holidays, inside jokes, shared history — all still happening, just without you.

You realize that if you want this new place to feel like home, you have to build that familiarity from scratch. And even then, it will never be the same.

2. The First Disappointment

If you were one of those people who thought your whole mindset will change as soon as you step foot in a new country, don’t worry, you’re not alone.

I also thought that making such a life-changing decision would instantly transform me. Spoiler alert, I was still me, with the same issues to work on, and now, new ones added to the list.

Yes, you gain opportunities, resources, and a fresh sense of purpose. But you don’t magically become perfect. Life doesn’t suddenly move according to plan. You face challenges both internally and externally.

I had to accept that.

One important thing I learned: don’t grieve a version of life that only existed in your imagination. Disappointment doesn’t mean regret. It simply means your expectations were emotionally ahead of your reality.

3. Discovering Parts Of Yourself You Never Needed Before 

There’s a saying: if someone lets a dog loose after you, you’ll run faster than you ever thought possible.

Living abroad teaches you that kind of lesson the hard way.

You don’t just rely on yourself, you learn how to do that in new ways.

Being fully responsible for my own life taught me more than basic independence like cooking or doing laundry. It forced me to develop adaptability, emotional resilience, and most importantly, renewed self-trust.

Necessity creates growth. And through that growth, I surprised myself.

I became stronger, more capable, and more grounded — not because I wanted to, but because I had to.

Which naturally leads to the next realization.

4. Your Personality Starts To Shift 

At some point, you start outgrowing old versions of yourself.

You look back at how you used to approach life and realize you don’t fully recognize that person anymore.

That doesn’t mean you’ve changed entirely. It means you’ve matured.

You may become quieter, more guarded, or more assertive. More intentional. More sculpted by experience.

Sometimes this feels empowering. Other times, it feels like loss.

I missed parts of myself — the version that went out more, lived lighter, worried less. But I don’t regret becoming someone who protects her time, chooses peace, and acts with intention.

I felt uncomfortable becoming more assertive and confident. Now, I thrive in it.

Change doesn’t need guilt. It needs acceptance.

5. You Start Questioning Everything

Going through so many transitions at the same time is a valid reason to start having doubts.

You question everything:

• Did I make the right decision?
• Is this life really for me?
• Is this who I want to become?

Doubt is part of the journey. It means you’re adjusting.

You can chase what you want and still question whether you want it. The important part is asking better questions:

Is this doubt — or fear?

Am I unsure — or just lost for now?

Sometimes the real answer isn’t clarity. It’s staying long enough to find out.

The Soft Acceptance

Don’t rush clarity.

Allow discomfort to exist for a while. You don’t need to solve everything immediately. You’re already carrying enough.

Always trust that understanding will come. And remember: if a decision were easy, it probably wouldn’t change you.

Key Takeaways

• Loneliness is part of transition, not a personal failure.
• Grief can coexist with gratitude.
• Change doesn’t mean you’re losing yourself, it means you’re expanding.